Beyond What We Can Know
U.U. Fellowship of Montgomery, AL
September 30, 2012
When the mind goes exploring
Unafraid of what it finds
Every wall is nonexistent
There are no bars of time
All the stars and all the molecules
Are clearly to be seen
No questions
No answers
We are a part of everything
~Sandra K. Snider, my mother
I was four or five years old when I memorized this poem fully. My mother recited it to me all of the time and over the years it has come to mean many things. It has always meant embracing mystery and, ultimately, it is the journey that matters. For me there is a comfort in the poem that whatever we think we know and in spite of what we know- we are in essence a part of the world around us. Indeed, knowledge can have a limiting power.
For example, “there are no bars of time” relating the idea that when we let go of something so certain as time we become open to other wisdoms. It is in this idea of letting go of what we think we know that I want to explore today. Every week, I walk into dozens of patients rooms where people struggle with one simply question- why? The narratives, belief systems, and identities are all very different, but what they have in common is a need to understand why what is happening to them is happening at all and often in a state of realization that what they have believed to be true is not serving them in this crisis.
Everyone here has had moments of bafflement- times when we simply cannot explain what we have experienced or witnessed. The truth is there is so much that we simply cannot know about the world we live in. The current climate in the dominant culture is to value knowing. Some argue that they know what is true about life and our world because of science, reason, and intellect. Some say that they know because they feel it in their gut or it is true in their experience. Some know how the world works because their church or holy book has the absolute truth. There are many ways to reach surety and righteousness.
We are indoctrinated into knowing the “right answer” or the “truth” from the earliest years of child development; we teach children that there are right and wrong answers. Attention is placed on knowing what you are doing with particular emphasis on measurable success. So, a child who receives excellent grades may be valued over a child who does not- regardless of the actual ability or knowledge of the child. When children are valued for their knowledge over their inherent worth and natural abilities, we land in a society focused on being right, in the know, and success driven.
Now, I am not belittling knowledge- knowledge is important. It is important that surgeons know what they are doing or that an engineer know how to make a strong bridge. Spiritual and emotional self knowledge is important to be a healthy person. However, when surety has primacy of power, success, and value, then we function in an unbalanced unhealthy community and cultural system. The simple reality is that we cannot know everything. Traditionally, religion has been a place to go when answers are not readily available.
Unitarian Universalism is no exception. As the Unitarians and Universalists developed, they began to shift away from explicitly Christian mores for managing uncertainty and lack of knowledge about outcomes. For example, the shift in atonement as a way to salvation, Christ as expressly the means for reaching heaven or speaking to God, and even the notion of baptism as a means for spiritual healing and a knowledge of assurance- the knowledge of salvation outside of this life- were replaced with reason, science, freedom of will, and personal responsibility. Like most things, these spiritual tools for understanding life have their blessings and difficulties.
Tell me if you've heard this joke- ask 10 Unitarian Universalists how they feel and 6 will answer with, “well, I think…” This joke is based on an actual experience at West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church where I was leading a workshop on the difficult topic of class and classism- a topic where we do not have a lot of specific “knowledge” to ground ourselves in. In this topic, discussing emotion and spirituality is as important as the intellectual knowledge because of the painful and complicated experiences of shame- shame of not having money or shame of having money- and the lack of language we have to describe and understand class cultures and identities.
In leading these kinds of workshops, I am keenly aware that many of our membership have developed lives around what they DO know. Sometimes because we have certain credentials in college or certifications for professional life, sometimes because we are leaders themselves and being the one “in the know” is important for their professional success, and often because the emphasis upon what is logically knowable has had a primacy in their lives.
Indeed, when we are faced with what we cannot possibly understand- for example, a person whose culture and life experience are completely different from ours- we turn to what we do know and can even perseverate on our own knowledge while losing the capacity to hear the person right in front of us. None of us here have ever done that, right? <smile> I certainly have been guilty of it. Growing up in impoverished farming communities in Indiana, I was fearful of the wealthy and was indoctrinated to judge people who are wealthy as mean, unethical, and dangerous. As Barry Oshry writes in his Terrible Dance of Power, “because they see the others as ‘Them’ as lesser, dirty, dangerous or evil.” This is how those in my community saw the wealthy and how I was raised to understand people with wealth.
As a Unitarian Universalist, of course I have come to know many wealthy people, but there was a time when I thought I knew everything I needed to know and then had to struggle and be uncomfortable with the fact that what I thought I knew was simply wrong. Over time, experience and training helped me overcome my lack of experience with people who are wealthy- but one thing I have come to understand- I will never know what it is like to be a person with wealth or to deal with the strains that those who have extreme wealth face.
I can coalition build with the wealthy, I can befriend wealthy people, and I can even offer spiritual wisdom to wealthy people, but I will never know the experiences of folks with extreme wealth and embracing that there is something beyond what I can know gives space for me to truly hear people who have wealth where they are and not how they fit within my limited knowledge and experience.
Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi writes:
Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about
language, ideas, even the phrase each other
does not make any sense.
This is the space beyond what we can know. In that field, there is an awareness that goes beyond what the mind can know or the heart can fathom.
When I preach on topics such as classism, oppression, forgiveness, compassion, embodiment, or mystery, I invite our people to sit with their discomfort- to be open to what feels uncomfortable or awkward or lacking clarity and stay with it. As Pema Chodron writes, “If you want there to be peace- anything from peace of mind to peace on earth- here is the condensed instruction: stay with the initial tightening and don’t spin off. Keep it simple.” In other words, stay with what is happening not what you think you know about what is happening or would like to have happen. She calls this “positive groundlessness.”
I think we crave the sorts of spiritual wisdom that takes us out of what we know. We want to keep reason, science, logic, freedom- the avenues that help most Unitarian Universalists find the spiritual knowledge that informs ouru personal lives AND we want to foster practices and religious wisdoms that help us to embrace uncertainty. In The American Book of Dying Richard Groves talks about how historically the job of the spiritual caregiver to the dying has been essentially the same in tradition after tradition- whether it is in Hinduism or Druidism or the early hospice centers of Europe the goal was essentially the same- to help the dying person to embrace what is uncertain- death. In every tradition, one of the foci for embracing the unknowable realities of life is breath.
So, in concluding today, I invite everyone here to take a deep breath. [breath] And now, take a deep breath in and out so your neighbor can hear you. [breath]
In this breath, may we encounter and embrace our knowledge, our differences, and all that we cannot know together in a spirit of grace and gratitude. May we embrace all that is beyond what we can know enjoying the mystery and comfort of all that is and all that which we are a part. Blessed be. Aho.
Unafraid of what it finds
Every wall is nonexistent
There are no bars of time
All the stars and all the molecules
Are clearly to be seen
No questions
No answers
We are a part of everything
~Sandra K. Snider, my mother
I was four or five years old when I memorized this poem fully. My mother recited it to me all of the time and over the years it has come to mean many things. It has always meant embracing mystery and, ultimately, it is the journey that matters. For me there is a comfort in the poem that whatever we think we know and in spite of what we know- we are in essence a part of the world around us. Indeed, knowledge can have a limiting power.
For example, “there are no bars of time” relating the idea that when we let go of something so certain as time we become open to other wisdoms. It is in this idea of letting go of what we think we know that I want to explore today. Every week, I walk into dozens of patients rooms where people struggle with one simply question- why? The narratives, belief systems, and identities are all very different, but what they have in common is a need to understand why what is happening to them is happening at all and often in a state of realization that what they have believed to be true is not serving them in this crisis.
Everyone here has had moments of bafflement- times when we simply cannot explain what we have experienced or witnessed. The truth is there is so much that we simply cannot know about the world we live in. The current climate in the dominant culture is to value knowing. Some argue that they know what is true about life and our world because of science, reason, and intellect. Some say that they know because they feel it in their gut or it is true in their experience. Some know how the world works because their church or holy book has the absolute truth. There are many ways to reach surety and righteousness.
We are indoctrinated into knowing the “right answer” or the “truth” from the earliest years of child development; we teach children that there are right and wrong answers. Attention is placed on knowing what you are doing with particular emphasis on measurable success. So, a child who receives excellent grades may be valued over a child who does not- regardless of the actual ability or knowledge of the child. When children are valued for their knowledge over their inherent worth and natural abilities, we land in a society focused on being right, in the know, and success driven.
Now, I am not belittling knowledge- knowledge is important. It is important that surgeons know what they are doing or that an engineer know how to make a strong bridge. Spiritual and emotional self knowledge is important to be a healthy person. However, when surety has primacy of power, success, and value, then we function in an unbalanced unhealthy community and cultural system. The simple reality is that we cannot know everything. Traditionally, religion has been a place to go when answers are not readily available.
Unitarian Universalism is no exception. As the Unitarians and Universalists developed, they began to shift away from explicitly Christian mores for managing uncertainty and lack of knowledge about outcomes. For example, the shift in atonement as a way to salvation, Christ as expressly the means for reaching heaven or speaking to God, and even the notion of baptism as a means for spiritual healing and a knowledge of assurance- the knowledge of salvation outside of this life- were replaced with reason, science, freedom of will, and personal responsibility. Like most things, these spiritual tools for understanding life have their blessings and difficulties.
Tell me if you've heard this joke- ask 10 Unitarian Universalists how they feel and 6 will answer with, “well, I think…” This joke is based on an actual experience at West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church where I was leading a workshop on the difficult topic of class and classism- a topic where we do not have a lot of specific “knowledge” to ground ourselves in. In this topic, discussing emotion and spirituality is as important as the intellectual knowledge because of the painful and complicated experiences of shame- shame of not having money or shame of having money- and the lack of language we have to describe and understand class cultures and identities.
In leading these kinds of workshops, I am keenly aware that many of our membership have developed lives around what they DO know. Sometimes because we have certain credentials in college or certifications for professional life, sometimes because we are leaders themselves and being the one “in the know” is important for their professional success, and often because the emphasis upon what is logically knowable has had a primacy in their lives.
Indeed, when we are faced with what we cannot possibly understand- for example, a person whose culture and life experience are completely different from ours- we turn to what we do know and can even perseverate on our own knowledge while losing the capacity to hear the person right in front of us. None of us here have ever done that, right? <smile> I certainly have been guilty of it. Growing up in impoverished farming communities in Indiana, I was fearful of the wealthy and was indoctrinated to judge people who are wealthy as mean, unethical, and dangerous. As Barry Oshry writes in his Terrible Dance of Power, “because they see the others as ‘Them’ as lesser, dirty, dangerous or evil.” This is how those in my community saw the wealthy and how I was raised to understand people with wealth.
As a Unitarian Universalist, of course I have come to know many wealthy people, but there was a time when I thought I knew everything I needed to know and then had to struggle and be uncomfortable with the fact that what I thought I knew was simply wrong. Over time, experience and training helped me overcome my lack of experience with people who are wealthy- but one thing I have come to understand- I will never know what it is like to be a person with wealth or to deal with the strains that those who have extreme wealth face.
I can coalition build with the wealthy, I can befriend wealthy people, and I can even offer spiritual wisdom to wealthy people, but I will never know the experiences of folks with extreme wealth and embracing that there is something beyond what I can know gives space for me to truly hear people who have wealth where they are and not how they fit within my limited knowledge and experience.
Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi writes:
Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about
language, ideas, even the phrase each other
does not make any sense.
This is the space beyond what we can know. In that field, there is an awareness that goes beyond what the mind can know or the heart can fathom.
When I preach on topics such as classism, oppression, forgiveness, compassion, embodiment, or mystery, I invite our people to sit with their discomfort- to be open to what feels uncomfortable or awkward or lacking clarity and stay with it. As Pema Chodron writes, “If you want there to be peace- anything from peace of mind to peace on earth- here is the condensed instruction: stay with the initial tightening and don’t spin off. Keep it simple.” In other words, stay with what is happening not what you think you know about what is happening or would like to have happen. She calls this “positive groundlessness.”
I think we crave the sorts of spiritual wisdom that takes us out of what we know. We want to keep reason, science, logic, freedom- the avenues that help most Unitarian Universalists find the spiritual knowledge that informs ouru personal lives AND we want to foster practices and religious wisdoms that help us to embrace uncertainty. In The American Book of Dying Richard Groves talks about how historically the job of the spiritual caregiver to the dying has been essentially the same in tradition after tradition- whether it is in Hinduism or Druidism or the early hospice centers of Europe the goal was essentially the same- to help the dying person to embrace what is uncertain- death. In every tradition, one of the foci for embracing the unknowable realities of life is breath.
So, in concluding today, I invite everyone here to take a deep breath. [breath] And now, take a deep breath in and out so your neighbor can hear you. [breath]
In this breath, may we encounter and embrace our knowledge, our differences, and all that we cannot know together in a spirit of grace and gratitude. May we embrace all that is beyond what we can know enjoying the mystery and comfort of all that is and all that which we are a part. Blessed be. Aho.